


You Promise? I Promise.

by AoKoiClem



Series: Aro/Ace Fics [2]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Aromantic, Aromantic Tsukishima Kei, Asexual Tsukishima Kei, Asexual Yamaguchi Tadashi, Asexuality, Fluff, Gen, LGBTQ Character, M/M, Platonic Cuddling, Platonic Life Partners, Platonic Relationships, Queerplatonic Relationships, Self-Doubt, Team Mom Sugawara Koushi, Tsukishima Kei & Yamaguchi Tadashi Friendship, Tsukishima Kei Needs a Hug, Tsukishima Kei is Bad at Feelings, Yamaguchi Tadashi is a Good Friend
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-04
Updated: 2020-09-04
Packaged: 2021-03-07 02:00:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,670
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26279062
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AoKoiClem/pseuds/AoKoiClem
Summary: Tsukishima has always struggled with his emotions. He knew he didn't want a romantic relationship. He knew that he never wanted sex and the thought of it repulsed him. He knew this. So why does it hurt so much when Yamaguchi goes on a week long vacation? He doesn't know how to process his emotions. He doesn't even know what he's feeling.
Relationships: Tsukishima Kei & Yamaguchi Tadashi
Series: Aro/Ace Fics [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1906483
Comments: 6
Kudos: 61





	You Promise? I Promise.

**Author's Note:**

> An acearo fic because I'm obsessed with them now 
> 
> queerplatonic tsukishima and yams? Uh Definitely.

Tsukishima pressed his lips tightly together as Yamaguchi wrapped his thin arms around him. Normally he'd push him off but he decided not to. His heart throbbed. A throbbing he'd never felt before. It wasn't anxious or fearful. It was excited. It wasn't anger. He didn't know what this was. 

"I'll see you in a week, Tsukki!" Yamaguchi called as he jogged towards his mothers car. Waving at Tsukishima with a smile. Yamaguchi had been excited about this vacation for months. He'd talked the entire teams ears off about it. He explained how he was going to get everyone a gift. Explained that he would be visiting his grandma and cousins. Yamaguchi hadn't been able to stand still the past week. He had called Tsukishima at 3am saying how he was so excited and couldn't wait to tell Tsukishima all about it. However, that's not what bothered him. It was the pure unadulterated vulnerability in Yamaghuchi's eyes when he told Tsukishima, " _I'll miss you_ ," It was soft. Softer than anything he'd heard Yamaguchi say before. 

Tsukishima didn't wave. Didn't say bye. He couldn't. His throat felt like it was closing. What was he feeling? What was this knot in his chest? He watched the car drive off with a glare. His thoughts seemed to get more fuzzy, he didn't know what he was thinking. Yamaguchi was Tsukishima's friend but that didn't explain why he felt like this. It was uncomfortable. Yamaguchi always helped Tsukishima when it came to processing his emotions. It started when Tsukishima had found out about his brother's lie. Yamaguchi was always there for him. 

What? What was he feeling? He didn't know. Why didn't he know? He should know. Tsukishima's breath hitched. His hand twitched. He was desperate for Yamaguchi to casually grab his hand when he was panicking. Yamaguchi had always done that. Pressure. He needed something to ground him. Something calming. _Yamaguchi_. He wanted Yamaguchi to wrap his arms around him again. It didn't feel bad. Not like Noya's hugs or Tanaka's harsh pats on the back. No it felt right. Why? Why did it feel right? Tsukishima felt uneasy. 

Squeeze. Tsukishima startled. Violently stepping back as Daichi set his hand on Tsukishima's shoulder. "Wow! Are you okay?" Daichi looked as if he was about to try and stead Tsukishima but decided against it.

Tsukishima opened his mouth. What could he say? He didn't even know why he did that. "Fine." Tsukishima brushed Daichi off and took long strides towards the gym. Yamaguchi had insisted on saying his goodbyes to the team before practice. 

Ukai had given Tsukishima a strange look when he entered the gym. He looked constipated, in Tsukishima's opinion. Soon enough everyone was gathered back in the gym. Ukai had whispered something to Takeda, Daichi, and Suga. Suga gave him a sympathetic smile. Tsukishima scowled. What was that for? 

"Alright! We'll be doing some 3 on 3s today! Tsukishima, Kageyama, Asahi, you're on red team! Daichi, Tanaka and Suga, you're on blue team! Hurry up!" Coach Ukai barked. 

Asahi glanced to Tsukishima and Kageyama with a weak grin. Kageyama glared at Tsukishima. Kageyama barked an insult at Tsukishima but he just brushed it off. He didn't feel like bothering with Kageyama today. Kageyama huffed and threw another insult towards Tsukishima. Asahi tried to diffuse the situation but his pleas fell on deaf ears. 

Daichi scolded Kageyama. For once Tsukishima hadn't been passive aggressive about the situation. He didn't even call Kageyama "king'. 

It wasn't too obvious throughout practice that he wasn't focused. He played like he always did. Halfheartedly attempting to block Tanaka's spikes and serving plainly. Maybe it had been obvious...actually it probably was. Tsukishima had failed every single receive and most of Tanaka's spikes shot straight through his block. 

Tsukishima started at his hands as Coach Ukai dismissed practice. What was wrong with him? He hadn't failed at receiving so bad since Oikawa's serves. He'd practiced for months after that...so why? Had he just lost his skill? Had Tanaka gotten better at spiking? Had Daichi's serves gotten faster? 

His hands were red from Tanaka's spike. He could hear Yamaguchi telling him to ice his hands tonight. Maybe softly grabbing his hand and smiling. Tsukishima grabbed his bag. His only thought being to get out of the gym. Get away from people who might be judging him. 

"Tsukishima!" 

Tsukishima froze. He pressed his lips together and spun to face Daichi and Suga. "What?" He snapped. Clenching his fists, he wasn't angry at them! We was he losing control like this? 

Suga looked somewhat shocked. A worried look upon his face. Daichi observed him for a moment. Neither of them looked offended, "Are you okay? You were off of your game today." Daichi questioned bluntly. 

Tsukishima could feel his blunt nails pressing against the already sore skin, he wanted to wince. "I'm. Fine." He felt trapped. He could feel Daichi's eyes on him. He couldn't make eye contact. He never did. It was too awkward. He took a deep breath waiting for their response to his attitude. 

"Okay, we believe you." Suga said calmly, gently, soothingly.

Tsukishima nodded, numbly. "Can I go?" It was silent for far too long. Neither of his upperclassmen said anything. It was made his insides twist with anxiety. "Please." He breathed the word out. It would've gone unheard if it wasn't pin drop silent. 

A sigh echoed in the room, "Okay. Kageyama and Hinata are waiting outside if you want to walk home with them." Daichi informed him, stepping away. 

Tsukishima let out a relieved breath. The oxygen in the room was no longer thick like syrup to breath in. Tsukishima didn't bother walking with Kageyama and Hinata. He didn't want to. He knew they would bring up how horrible he was playing today. Question him about it. He didn't want anyone to question him because he didn't _know_. He didn't know why he was acting like this. He didn't. He really didn't. He felt a pang of emotions. His throat burned and his eyes watered. _Stop. Stop!_

His mind wouldn't stop. The thoughts kept coming. He wanted them to slow down but they just sped up. _What's wrong with me? Why am I doing this? Calm down. Calm down. Stop being emotional. Stop it. Stop it!_ The air felt like syrup down his throat. Each breath was harder to take. _Why?_ Yamaguchi would know. Tsukishima thought bitterly. 

The next day was just as bad. Tsukishima brushed off his panic attack from the previous day and went into the day hoping it was a one off thing. It wasn't. Morning practice went fine. He practiced serving with Asahi. Whose company he didn't mind. He wouldn't say he liked it but he definitely didn't hate it. It didn't annoy him like Kageyama and Hinata's presence does. Granted it might have been because Asahi hardly said a word to him but it was still nice. Just quiet, without anyone trying to force him to answer questions he didn't know the answers to. 

Tsukishima's classes were horrible. He couldn't focus. It felt like a panic attack was slowly crashing down on him with every passing second but never quiet hit him. He had to stop himself from snapping at his classmates when he glanced back and saw Yamaguchi's chair empty. He had to excuse himself to the bathroom to get a hold on reality. He felt like he could just zone out and skip all of his classes. 

Tsukishima found Asahi during lunch. Asahi didn't say anything as Tsukishima sat next to him. Tsukishima ate his lunch. A sandwich, crackers, some fruit and an orange. He hadn't been motivated to make a proper lunch. Tsukishima glanced to Asahi. Him and Nishinoya are close, right? He knew they weren't dating. Nishinoya was straight which he'd made abundantly obvious on multiple occasions. 

"Asahi..." Tsukishima said before he could stop himself. 

Asahi perked up and glanced to his younger teammate. "Mhm?" Asahi hummed. 

What was he even going to say. Tsukishima thought on it for a while. He could only think of one thing to say. "You're good friends with Nishinoya...right?" 

Asahi nodded, "yeah. We've been friends for a long time. We're really close! Why?" Excitement leaked into Asahi's tone despite the shy nature of his words. 

Tsukishima nodded, chewing on his lip. Maybe Asahi would know why he's feeling like this? Tsukishima shook his head softly. No. There was no point in bothering Asahi. Whatever he's feeling would disappear in a couple days. Yeah. Tsukishima gulped. His tongue felt like cotton. "I was just curious..." 

Asahi didn't press the matter any further and Tsukishima appreciated that.. 

Everything was going wrong. Tsukishima arrived at afternoon practice only to be sat out for the day. According to Coach Ukai he was too distracted and would end up getting injured. He wanted to snap at him but he didn't have the energy to. 

He watched Asahi spike the ball and Hinata's smile widen as he admired the ace. As soon as a break started Kageyama ran up to suga and asked for tips to get along better with his teammates. Tsukishima scoffed and rolled his eyes. 

_Ding!_

Tsukishima glanced down to his phone. 

**3:20pm**

**Tadashi: Hey Tsukki! How are you doing?**

Tsukishima felt his heart thump in relief. His body seemed to relax all at once. _Yamaguchi._ His thumbs hovered over the keyboard. 

**3:22pm**

**Tsukishima: Hello. I'm fine. How're you?**

Tsukishima almost hit sent but his stomach twisted at the thought of lying to Yamaguchi. What was wrong with him? He hadn't felt like this before...For a split second he questioned whether he was actually aromantic but shot that down instantly. These were _not_ romantic feelings. _Damn it!_

**3:24pm**

**Tsukishima: Hey Tadashi...I'm not feeling too well...might stay home tomorrow. What about you?**

Tsukishima didn't feel as bad about sending that message. He wasn't lying. Even if he tried to communicate what he was feeling. Yamaguchi's response came quickly. He spent the rest of practice messaging his friend. Yamaguchi was rambling on about how his grandma had given his little cousin too much candy. and how he'd already gotten Tsukishima's gift but it was a "super ultra secrety secret!" Tsukishima rolled his eyes at his friends behavior until he realized that Yamaguchi wasn't _here._

It wasn't until the 4th day Yamaguchi was gone that Tsukishima finally reached out to Daichi and Suga for emotional support. It had been after everyone cleared out of the gym. Coach Ukai left locking up to the Captain tonight. Tsukishima had been frozen in place. Sitting on the bench. He didn't even look like he was breathing. Suga and Daichi were whispering quietly, debating what to do with the younger teammate. 

"Daichi...Suga..." The two of them were silenced and looked to Tsukishima. He looked miserable. His face screwed up with emotions he didn't understand. He didn't cry. His eyes burned and his throat tightened but he didn't cry. "I-I think somethings wrong with me?" he didnt even believe what he said. 

"Whys that?" Suga prompted patiently as he sat beside Tsukishima. 

"I'm feeling something for Yamaguchi...I don't know what it is. It's not romantic but its more than friends. I miss him. I've never felt like this before. I don't know what happening." Tsukishima answered honestly no matter how embarrassed he would be later. 

Daichi chuckled. "why would that mean something is wrong with you? It sounds perfectly normal to me." Daichi leaned forward from his spot on the opposite end of Suga to get a better view of Tsukishima. "What are you confused about?" 

"I don't- Nothing makes sense-" Tsukishima went silent losing the will to talk. 

"Do you love him?" 

Tsukishima looked hesitant. He did love Yamaguchi. It wasn't romantic love.He knew that. But he definitely love him. Something deeper than friendship.. "yes. I do. It's more than friendship but its not..." he trailed off. 

"Tell him that?" Suga suggested. 

Tsukishima instantly shook his head, "no. I couldn't. He-" 

"-might feel the same way. How would you know if you haven't asked, Tsukishima?" Daichi cut Tsukishima off. 

Tsukishima laid awake that night. Torn between forgetting the entire conversation and maybe taking action on it. Perhaps he should tell Yamaguchi. Secrets weren't good for a relationship of any kind. Tsukishima ignored his brothers snores and finally managed to fall asleep. 

The last day was easier. Tsukishima was able to partially focus in class. He took some notes and answered some questions but deep down all he could think of was Yamaguchi. 

Tsukishima actually got to practice today. He acted like he didn't care but everyone could see the fiery passion in his eyes today. He was focused on the 3 on 3 game when Yamaguchi had entered. Tsukishima was about to spike the ball when he saw Yamaguchi out of the corner of his eye. He didn't jump. Kageyama's set fluttered onto the floor. 

"Tsukishima! What the h-" Kageyama silenced himself seeing the scene before him.

Tsukishima was staring wide eyed at Yamaguchi. Yamaguchi had a teary eyed smile covering his face. "Hi, Tsukki..." Yamaguchi whispered.

"Tadashi," Tsukishima mumbled. The name probably came out twisted. His heart thumped. He was stuck between nervous and relieved beyond belief. Yamaguchi glanced back towards Tsukishima at the sound of his name. "Tadashi." Tsukishima tried again. "Come here." his voice was rough. His burning throat made the air he inhaled seem painfully ice. 

Yamaguchi walked up to Tsukishima, yelping when Tsukishima's arms wrapped around him. Tsukishima never initiated the affection shared between the two so it shocked Yamaguchi but he wrapped his own arms around Tsukishima. Coach Ukai and Daichi figured it best to give the two space and silently ushered everyone else out of the gym. 

Tsukishima took a deep breath, holding Yamaguchi felt nice. It felt right. 

A small giggle left Yamaguchi making Tsukishima smile. He'd missed that laughter. The giggle turned sad, "I was supposed to be having fun but...I couldn't stop missing you Tsukki. How much I missed you. I know it was only a week but-" 

"I know." Tsukishima cut him off. "I missed you too, so bad." Tsukishima let Yamaguchi go but Yamaguchi kept his arms wrapped around Tsukishima.

"No. I just got back. I refuse to let you go again. It felt horrible. I didnt like it!" Yamaguchi whimpered. 

Tsukishima felt a rush of nervousness but he didn't give himself time to address it. "I love you, Tadashi. It's not romantic but its more than a friendship and I-" 

Yamaguchi nodded with wide eyes. "I feel the same way! I love you so much, Tsukki!" Yamaguchi paused for a moment before smiling, "lets go to your house and we can watch jurassic park- and oh! Tsukki this is your gift!" Yamaguchi eased away from the hug and pried a small dinosaur stuffed animal out of his pocket. Yamaguchi pressed the stuffed dino in Tsukishima's left hand and grabbed his right hand. "Okay, lets go!" 

"Yamaguchi- I have practice!" Tsukishima weakly protested. 

Yamaguchi pouted, "I didn't see you for a whole week, Tsukki! I don't care if you have practice!" 

Tsukishima sighed and let Yamaguchi drag him away from the school and towards Tsukishima's house. "Next time, you'll have to bring me with you when you leave for a week. I don't know if I can handle being away from you for that long again." 

Yamaguchi nodded, "Definitely, One-hundred percent! I didn't like being away that long either!!" 

It was Tsukishima's turn to sound pure and unadulterated vulnerability. "You Promise?" 

Yamaguchi smiled and it warmed Tsukishima's soul to hear and see Yamaguchi. It was long a week away but it felt like months and months of metal and emotionally torture. He didn't know if what they had, had an official title but he didn't mind as long he got to be with him in his own more than friendship. 

"I promise, Kei. I do." 

**Author's Note:**

> Hope y'all enjoyed! I really enjoy writing fics like this ! :33 I wrote this instead of sleeping and there is most definitely some grammatical issue and shit. Near the end I kept falling asleep so if anything is out of wack just blame that but let me know and I'll try to go back and fix it lkj;aslkd j


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